Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Who Am I Without You?- Part 2


When I got home after the incident with Bolu, my mother rushed towards me crying. She was panting, and pacing around our living room as if she there was fire on the mountain. I kept asking her, “Mama, what’s wrong?” She was so shaken she could not even form words with her mouth. All I remembered her saying before I fainted was “Dare!”

When she managed to revive me, I jerked up right away. With both hands on my head I asked her, “What happened to Dare?” When she broke the news to me, I almost fainted again. Dare’s teacher had called my mother that my son was being rushed to the hospital; it was a car accident. In my now spinning head, I was crying silently. “No! No! No! No! This can't be happening now.”  Standing there in our living room and blaming myself for what happened to my son wasn’t going to help a thing so I quickly grabbed my car key and ran out the door with my mother behind me.

As soon as we got to the hospital, I saw the doctor in the reception area. He managed to calm me down, and told me that although Dare might have lost a lot of blood, they were able to save him. Immediately, my charged eyes became fixed on the lady standing next to the doctor. I grabbed a hold on the woman who I knew to be Dare’s teacher. I started yelling,  raining curses on the poor lady, demanding for an explanation.

“What happened to my son? What have you done! I'm going to sue you and your school!” My temper spiked. The nurses present tried to calm me down.  “Madam calm down. Just be glad your son is okay. There's really no need for all this.”

“How dare you! How dare you tell me what to do? Is the child lying on that hospital bed your son? Do you even have a child?!” I lost every bit of composure I had left in me as my voice elevated in anger. They could say that so easily, but they did not understand that this wasn’t just about my son only. That had been the only way I had been able to finally let out all of my frustrations. Ever since Bolu left, leaving me and our child homeless in my mother’s care, I hadn’t had the time to cry. There was no one for me to vent my anger on. Everything was moving so fast. My son needed me the most so I pretended to be strong for his sake. When my mom finally came to my side, she brought me good news. Dare had woken up, and he was asking to see me.

Settling next to where Dare was lying on the hospital bed, I asked him to tell me what happened. He said, “Mommy, I thought it was daddy that was outside the gates, so I ran out to tell him mummy keeps crying at night, so… so he can come back home.” he finished, crying. And in the process he got ran over by a car. I stared at him mute, absolutely torn with no words to say.

Few days after Dare was discharged from the hospital. I decided to give Bolu a call. I wanted to at least inform him about what happened to his son, and if he was ready to kill him, he might as well take me along. A lady picked up. I initially thought it was his new girl, and I was right. As soon as she heard my name, her voice changed.

“My husband is not home. Is there something we can help you with?” She asked as if she was the first lady of Nigeria. That self-confidence, how the hell did she obtain it so quickly? But I guess since it’s been long she’d been sniffing around Bolu; it gave her plenty enough time to prepare for this role. Then I said to her, “Well if you don’t mind, tell him that his son almost died, and if that is not enough to knock him back to his senses, I don’t know what will.”

She attacked me, saying, “What son? The only child my Bolu has or will have, is the one I’m planning on giving him.”

So I asked. “Come, do you know who you’re talking to?” Maybe she’d clearly forgotten that I was the first and only legal wife Bolu had. The woman who stood by Bolu through thick and then was me, but then again, where did all that get me?

She quickly responded, jumping on her words like a hungry lion. “And so? Who are you? Tell me, who the hell are you? Are you the first woman in Nigeria to get divorced? You won’t allow my husband and me to rest all because he managed to knock you up while you guys were in high school, and then afterwards, you forced him to stay because of the baby. Now, the child we’re talking about here is no longer a baby, so what’s there to make him stay? Why can’t you just understand that he’s moved on? The guy don wash he hands from your matter; his tired!” She hung up.

I sat in my bedroom with my mouth wide opened, and no words of response came out. She just kept on talking, and talking, and talking as if she knew everything about what was going on, and I was the one in the dark. A woman like myself was giving me a reality check about my life and the man I’d chose to live it with for the past 12 years and all I could do was cry. Since Bolu’s new wife would not let me speak to him, I decided to go see him directly.

When I got to his workplace, his employers began whispering about me as soon as they saw me walk in. Some said, “Oga don leave her. Ehya. What is she going to do now?” Some pitied me, and some laughed at my face. I guessed the news that I was no longer their madam had spread quickly. When they finally agreed to let me see their Oga, I walked into his office with all the courage I had left in me.

“Who allowed you in?” Bolu asked, frowning. I didn’t come to argue with him but I was going to have to do just that! So, I began. “Your son, Dare, do you still remember him?” I asked, walking to where he was sitting. He shot an and-so-what glare at me. I continued, not allowing myself to be intimidated. I had to do this for my son. “He almost died!…” I could not hold myself together any longer. I felt the hot tears that I’d kept away for so long start to cascade down my cheeks. “Bolu, our son!” I yelled at him, slamming my purse on his desk. I wanted him to remember something, anything, so I held his face close to mine. But he said to me, “What sought of nonsense is this? Have you lost your mind?”


“Oh yes, Bolu, I’ve lost it.” I shot back at him. “I lost it the day you decided to walk out on us. The day you decided to walk out on our family! The day you decided to walk out on our love. The day you decided to walk out on me. Me, Bolu!”

“Our son who is innocent in all this is the one left to suffer, are you happy?” I asked him. He warned me to lower my voice, and that if I don’t calm down he would throw me out. “This is not the right place for all this. For Christ sake! My workers are all listening.” He stated, trying to keep his own anger in check.

“Let them listen ‘o’ Bolu, let them hear me. Let them know the kind of person you really are. A worthless man who has no shame. A selfish he-goat who I was stupid enough to open my legs for. Your true colors are coming out now ‘abi?’ But why now? After all we shared!”

He lifted his right hand up, almost as if he was going to hit me. But as fast as that hand went up, it slowly went down. I could see he was boiling with anger, and I was ready for whatever comes next. For the first time in months, Bolu looked at me. The face he knew so well right from our teen days. I could see it in his eyes, there still something there. He looked at me as if his eyes were clearer now. I can bet all I have that that look he held in his eyes is the same look he gave me on the day we first met. It was the same look he gave me on our wedding day, but this time it was clouded with something else; pride.

“Maybe it would be best if I give you a phone call later.” He muttered calmly as he tried to hold my hands. I told him I had already tried the calling thing that but his wife would not let me speak to him. For God sake, what was all this? What mixed signals was he sending my way? Am I paranoid, and beginning to see things that’s weren’t even there? Did I accomplish anything by coming here today? Was it the news of his son that brought all these pant up emotions, or was it my presence? All these thoughts were flying through my head as I walked out of his office.

At the end of the day, I realized I’d just succeeded in making my wounds deeper.

3 comments:

  1. Enjoying the story dear. Please post the rest faster

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think he still loves her but made the mistake of getting the rich girl pregnant &maybe the rich girl's so powerful that he could lose his job if he doesn't marry her. UNLUCKY IN LUST..

    ReplyDelete

Thank you guys for always reading,