Thursday, April 2, 2015

Who Am I Without You?- Part 6

When I woke up this morning, I began to think about what my life would have been if there was no Ex-husband in the picture. I knew fully well that that would mean no Dare, and quite frankly, I didn’t think I would miss either Bolu or my child. “Gosh! I need some breathing space!” I said to my bathroom mirror. My lips were looking all cracked up as if I didn’t know where lip balm was sold at.

As I continued in my thoughts, a knock came. “Umm… Lola, one Mr. Bolu is waiting for you outside.” my sister informed me. The rush I used in looking for the make-up bag I’d hidden away baffled me. What was I thinking? I quickly wiped off the little makeup I’d tried applying on my face; no guy is worth it. I thought as I closed my bathroom door.

“I don’t know why you think you can just show up at my place like this without asking for my permission. I don’t sell akara anymore, Bolu so you can stop.” I said to him.

He just smiled. “That’s why I came to ask for your phone number.”

“Like I was saying, there is no need for you to keep coming. Whatever you are trying to do here, it’s not working.” I stated as I turned around to leave.

“You look beautiful!” He shouted behind me. “How about you let me be a friend, I no dey bite, Lola.” I turned around to take a good look at this man. He looked nothing like my Bolu, but every time I saw him, I saw another mistake tempting me to take a bite out of it.

“So how about I come pick you up at two, and we go shopping for my party tonight?” he said.

 “This party or whatever, who is going to be there?” I asked curiosity in my eyes. He knew I wanted to come along with him, all I needed was a little persuasion.

“A couple of friends, family, and my workers. No big deal.” he replied. “Take some time to think about it. Would really love for you to come.” He said sincerely. It’d been long since I left my house for a party. My current situation didn’t really give much room for parties. The people I once called my friends no longer invited me to events that they hosted because I was no longer beside Bolu who was the only reason I was accepted into the society of the wealthy. I thought about Bolu’s offer for a minute. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to let myself live that life again.

“I guess I’ll see you at two then.” I said to him, rushing off before I come up with a reason to change my mind.

He kept to his words and I kept to mine. At exactly two p.m., he was already waiting for me. I got into his fancy range rover car and we drove off. He drove me to a very well-known expensive boutique which he later told me his sister owned. Bolu took a seat as I went around looking for a gown that would fit the night’s occasion. I was really fast with picking out something. I don’t believe in spending hours at a shopping mall especially when I wasn't paying with my own money, so when it came time for him to pay, something snapped.

“NO DON’T!” I said to him in what sounded like a scream. I drew him to a corner.

“I thought I could do this but it’s not working.” I said to him with my shaking hands squeezing my shoulders tight.

“I don’t want your money; I don’t want to be your puppet… just take everything back.” I walked over to the cashier’s desk. I started throwing the clothes back to every corner of the store. Amazed at my reaction, Bolu just stood in awe. He stared at me as if I’d gone mad. When he noticed a small crowd of shoppers were gathering to watch, he lost his patience.

 “Stop it.” he said calmly. Disregarding what he said, I continued. Clothes flew everywhere from the racks they were neatly hung and to the floor. “Will you stop this misbehaving, people are watching for Christ sake!” he yelled in anger. By the time I looked at him, I saw anger burning through his eyes. I was embarrassing him right? That was all I was; a man’s worst nightmare, an embarrassment. Surrounded by piles of expensive clothes on the floor and strange eyes on me, I shook my head in pity.

“Bolu, you just don’t get it, do you? I’m so tired of you doing stuff for me. I’m tired of you buying all my akara, and I’m tired of you flaunting your pretty car at face. I’m so sick of you thinking I need you when clearly you’re the one who keeps coming back!” He looked around him as if maybe I was talking to someone else in the room who doubtfully wasn't him. I could feel my eyes getting watery. I thought to myself, Damn girl! Don’t let those tears fall. Don’t lose it girl! Come on, get yourself together.

“You think that after you’ve done all this it’ll be easier for you to sleep with me? You are sick, Bolu.” I stated, my tears now on displace for him to see.

“What has come over you?!” he flung me into his arms. “Okay fine... you don’t want the clothes;” he stated, squeezing me tightly into his arms almost as he was hiding me away from the rest of the world, from the eyes of the curious shoppers who stared in amusement.  “We can take them all back.” I slapped his hands off me, my chest beating in anger.

“I’m done.” he stated, dragging me out of the store. He mention to the sale’s girl to not tell his sister about any of what happened before he threw me out; his embarrassment.

I fought with him like a crazy woman when we got outside. I told him to leave me alone that I’ll find my own way home. He got into his car and left me outside without looking back. I stood in front of the store with customers staring at me as if I was crazy. I was confused. What was my problem? I took a sit on a bench that was outside the store stayed there until I got myself together.

An hour later, my thoughts were still on the same thing over and over again. I grew fatigue, and weary from the hot sun that was hitting my head. To shield myself from the sun, I rested my head on my laps.  I felt hot tears drop on my palms.

“Let’s get you home.” A familiar voice stated in front of me. I looked up to see who it was, and to my surprise, it was Bolu.

“Did you come back for round 2?” I asked, collecting the bottled of water he held out to me.

“Just shut up for once, and let me take you home.” he said.

No words needed to be exchanged as we drove back home. All he heard from me were silent tears. He came out to open the car door for me. Even after all that’d happened that day, Bolu remembered his manners. As soon as I stepped out, tiny legs came running towards me.

“Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!” my son rushed to hug me. I was so embarrassed when I saw Bolu’s jaws drop. His mouth formed a shocking  O.

“You… you have a son?” he stuttered.

“It’s none of your business, just go.”

I picked my son up and left Bolu to think the worse.


  1. Nice one. Waiting for the next one

  2. Wonderful piece of work

  3. Shit! Shit... she'd be like HOW WILL I KNOW IF HE REALLY LOVES ME?..IF HE LOVES ME, IF HE LOVES ME NOT, well I don't really care, but I know I care...


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