Saturday, April 4, 2015

Who Am I Without You?- Part 12

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When I woke up in the morning, my head was spinning. I had the worst headache from all the wine. The first thing I noticed was that I was on a bed. The room I found myself in was huge and carefully decorated for a guy which alarmed me. I didn’t remember how I got there.

“No!” I was in shock when I recalled the event of last night. “I kiss him, or he kissed me?” I asked myself. I wanted to blame it all on the alcohol but one thing was for sure, the wine had nothing to do with whatever happened. My clothes were still on so I calmed down a bit. I heard soft knocking the door and I quickly jerked myself from the bed just in case it was Bolu. “Come in,” I said after taking a deep breath.

“Madam, your food is ready.” A young girl who looked no more than seventeen walked in.

“What’s your name?” I asked her as she directed me to the dining room.

“My name is Ada.” She said.

“Ada,” I smiled. “So you are the one who has been keeping your ‘oga’ lazy?” Bolu had told me all about Ada last night. Her story in a way connected with mine so I spoke to her more freely.

“Speaking of your oga, where is he?” For some odd reason, I was excited to see him.

“Madam, oga don go work since….” She replied. I asked her what the time was.

“8:30 ma,” As soon as I heard that, I screamed so loud I think I scared the young girl. “No! No! No!” I ran back to Bolu’s room. I grabbed my phone, and every other thing that was mine. The girl looked confused when I came back out. She asked, “Madam, are you not going to eat?” I guess she didn’t notice I was rushing to put on my shoes. “God! What is wrong with me?” I asked myself as I forced my foot into a pair of shoe. “See ehn, when your oga comes, tell him we will talk later. He will understand, okay?” I stated, rushing out the door.

“Madam, are you going out?” a young man asked when he noticed I was struggling to open the gate. “Oga said I should drop you off when you’re ready to leave.” He added.  Thank God!
Upon getting home, my mom was standing outside waiting for me. “Where have you been? And who were you with all night?”

“Good morning, Mama.”

“Just keep your greetings to yourself. I don’t know of any mother or married woman who would go out and come back at this time.” She said pointing at her wristwatch. “Who did you expect to look after your son?”

 “I am sorry, it won’t happen again. Has he gone to school now?” I rushed into the house to see for myself. 

“You better thank Kate when she comes back, she dropped him off.” She hissed and walked pass me. And just when I thought we were done, she turns around and said, “You better keep yourself for Bolu, because I will not give my daughter to just any idiotic fellow out there.”

“Which Bolu? Bolu and I are done.” It was time for me to take charge over my life.

“You see yourself, Lola? I always knew you would turn out to be a disappointment to this family but your father, he would never allow himself see the truth.” I snapped after she mentioned my father. I still remembered how I almost felt like dying with him the day I realized I’d lost everything I loved.

“I’ve seriously heard enough of this Mama. Do you want me to force myself on a man who doesn’t want me anymore?! I refuse to be like you who stayed with papa because of the little money he had!” I was so tired of keeping quiet and being the good daughter. “If you want Bolu so much, how about you marry him for yourself!” She slapped me. Yes, maybe I had said too much again but I really didn’t care! “How dare you talk to your mother like that? I managed your father and I will not see my daughter’s do the same with any man! Don’t you see your younger sister, Kate? She has done well for herself unlike you.” As much as I really wanted to knock her out of her misery, I had to keep the promise I made to my sister so I just quietly walked away, no tears this time.

Later in the evening a call came. It was from Bolu. I didn’t know if I should answer it or not. I knew if I should speak to him now, I would say too much and make a complete fool out of myself because my mood was sour.

“Hello?” his voice, why did it have to calm the rage inside of me?

“Yes.” I answered solemnly.

“Oh God, your voice says it all, you’re angry with me.” If only he could see that this was the first time I’d smiled since last night.

“No, I’m fine.”

“You were sleeping so peacefully this morning I didn’t wake you up when I was leaving for work.” He said. How did he even do it? We barely had three hours of sleep and he still got up to go to work?

“I’m sorry for keeping you up late with my questions last night. I hope you weren’t sleepy at work?”

“Lola, what’s wrong, why is your voice like this?” he asked.  For once, someone was worried about me. “Was it your mother again this time?” I was in shocked. “Just how much did I tell you last night?” I asked him.

“I asked myself the same question this morning so you answer me first. I can leave work right now and come get you, if that would make you feel better.” He offered.

“You know what? That’s the thing!” I snapped. “You need to just stay where you are. My family is not the right place for someone like you, okay?”

“You deal with your sister and try as much as possible to not involve me. I’m sorry, Bolu but I would love if you didn’t call me back or anything please.” I washed my hands off everything that concerned him.

“Hello?... Lola, please answers me.”

I kept the phone to my ear, promising myself to keep calm. I didn’t want to say anymore words that would hurt him, but I couldn’t find the strength to hang up on him. 

“Hello? Lola, are you still there? Let’s talk about this like adults. Lola, I’m going crazy here, please just answer me!” he yelled.

I listened to him as voice out all of his frustrations. One minute he was telling me to go that he’s also done with me, and the next minute he was pleading with me. “I know you can hear me so listen. I have never felt this way towards a woman before. All this begging is new to me. I’ll do much more if that’s what it’ll take for you to realize that even though I share the same name with your ex-husband, I am not Bolu. I’ll love you and make every moment with you count. I don’t care about what the society or even what your mother has to say, it’s our life and we can do what we want, Babe.” Lies, lies, he had to be lying to me. They always do. The more he spoke, the more convinced I was because it all felt as if I was in some kind of old Nollywood movie where Ramsey Noah was begging for Genevieve’s love.

“I love you Lola.” He finally said. Oh yes! This was how its suppose to feel like. Like I was the main character in those romance novels I’d dared myself to never read in fear of realizing what I was missing out on  in life. That feeling you get when your heart is burning so much it’s so close to exploding from excitement. And no, it wasn’t like this with Dare’s father even with all the teenage energy we had back then. I finally convinced myself that what I was feeling now was love. These voices started in my head. “What are you waiting for? He’s not going to stay on the phone forever.”

“Bolu… Bolu, are you still here?” I asked anxiously. I was scared he might have already given up. But then his voice came, “I’m still with you. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” You better not, because I love you too.

1 comment:

Thank you guys for always reading,