Saturday, April 4, 2015

Who Am I Without You?- Part 15

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When I got pregnant, my mother told my father that it was the right thing for Bolu and me to get married because she wasn’t going to help raise a bastard son in her house. She didn’t protect me; she sold me off to what I knew nothing about.

 “Oh Lola, I’m so sorry. We never planned for it to come out like this.” She said as she walked closer to where I was. “Your father and I thought we could keep this until it’s the right time.”

“Mama, I am thirty years old, what right time were you waiting for? Is papa even my real father?” I had to ask because nothing seemed as it was.

“Of course. Never doubt that. He loved you with all he had and tried to give you the best he could.”
“And my mother?” She turned away from me and walked over to the window. She had both of her hands on her shoulders as she stared outside.

“My sister loved your father with her whole being.” She stated.

“Mama, are we talking about your sister here or my mother?”

“She died giving birth to you, and I’m sorry Lola because I took her place.” she rushed to where I was crying. “I thought I could satisfy your father the way she did. I saw the love in her eyes when she spoke about your father to me. I thought I could replace my sister; your mother.” She confessed.
“Mama!” I yelled.

“Yes I know, go ahead and hate me but I do not regret anything I have done in these past years. I fought for what I wanted and I got it.” She replied back. How could she be saying that?

“Did you ever love papa or you just wanted to be a husband snatcher!” I yelled. My father was a gentle man. While I was growing up, I would pray to God to send a man that was even half the man my father was for me to marry.

“After your mother died…”

“Mama, did you ever loved him?”

“During the months of me taking care of you after my sister died, your father and I fell in love. I know I didn’t give him time to heal from losing your mother but we did what was best for you. Don’t you see, I’ve always thought of you first before any other thing?”

“No, you used me to get what you wanted, and after papa became yours you threw me away...”

One month later,
“I have been thinking.” He said.

“About what?”

“About you coming to work at my company?” He replied.

“Your company?” I asked, dropping the polymeric spoon on my plate.

“But you know I have no degree or any qualification at all.” I said, frowning.

He made a sigh and said: “I know, I know, but since you won’t accept any financial help from me, it’s better you come work for me then.”  That was not the first time we’d had this conversation. I had refused the money he gave me to rent an apartment for Dare and myself after I told him about my supposed mother being my aunty.

“You can work as my personal assistant. I’ll teach you all you need to know plus it won’t be a bad idea having you around me all the time.”

“But what will people say?” If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in all my life, it was to never care about what people out there have to say. I am my own person and my life was mine.

“How soon can I start?” I asked excitedly.  “Only on one condition, you will treat me like every one of your other workers, okay?”

“That’s fine, anything for you Lola.” We shook hands across the table as if we were business partners.
Upon getting to my house, we kissed good bye and I went in. I could hear some commotion coming from around my house. And when I heard my mother’s voice, I increased my pace.

“Kate, please don’t do this to me, your mother.” She said. I badged into our living room to find Kate holding a knife to her wrist.

“What’s going on here?” I asked as I dropped my handbag on the floor. As soon as my mother saw me, she ran towards me crying. “I don’t know what has come over her, please help me talk to her.” She said softly like a girl of my age.

“Mama, please calm down.” I said to her as I moved closer to where Kate was standing, still holding the knife to her wrist. Kate began to move backwards saying, “Don’t come any closer or I will do it.” She was panting so hard. In fact, I could see the fear in her reddened eyes. “Kate, talk to me. You don’t have to do that, Mama and I are here for you.” I pleaded.

She laughed. “Do you think I want to be like you?” She asked. “This… this thing inside of me.” She pointed the knife to her now growing stomach. “I want it out!” She yelled.

“Dayo is not coming back Lola, what am I going to do with my life now?” She sobbed.

“Kate, you know you’re not feeling too well, so how about we talk without the knife honey?”

“You know what she did to you when you got pregnant and after Bolu left you.” She said looking at our mother. “I will not be subjected to that.”

“Kate!” My mother exclaimed. “I would never do such a thing to you, you are my daughter.” She cried out.
“She was your daughter too Mama and you treated her like your slave!” Kate yelled. I would have allowed them to talk it out but Kate still held on dearly to the knife.

“Kate look at me, am I not fine?” I asked her. She looked away not wanting to hear what I had to say. “Am I not strong? Have you ever heard me complain about giving birth to Dare?”

“Yes, it has been hard without having his father around but I’ve been strong for the both of us. You can do the same for yourself and your child.” I stood in front of her. I took a daring step, I carefully pulled the knife away from her hand and luckily, she didn’t resist. She gently gave the knife away and began to sob. I walked her to a lounger, held her close to me, resting her head on my shoulders. I rocked her back and forth like a baby in the crib. Those were all the things I wished someone had done for me when I found out I was carrying Bolu’s child. Of course I never thought of harming the child, but I understood every little pain Kate felt.

“What am I going to do now Lola?” She was crying so loud. I joined along. My mother was at a corner praying to God for delivering Kate from the hands of the devil that inhibited her body for those few minutes.

“You will be fine baby girl, I promise?” I said. “But you have to be strong for your baby, okay?”

Later that day, my mother thought we should inform Dayo’s parents about Kate’s pregnancy, maybe they would be able to talk some sense into their son. I was totally against it. Dayo should never see the baby as a reason for him to reconcile with Kate.  If he still loved Kate, he would call without ever knowing that there’s a baby involved. I refused to let my sister be stuck in a loveless relationship or marriage.

“Mama, what are you doing self?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” She replied back.

“Can’t you help your daughter raise her child so she can go on with her life? She still has school to finish.”

“Kate you know I have a shop to keep and…” She said, dragging her words.

“And so what?” I asked.

1 comment:

  1. This woman irresponsible sha...mehn i hate such mothers


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