Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Do You Love Me Now?

Photo by: Google

“She wore her pain quite gracefully, her face, a golden veil that revealed no torment.”

I thought that of you, you didn’t look like the girl in those stories you didn’t tell.
You wore your pain like it didn’t exist,
I wore mine in a frown, and that was how you liked it, my permanent scowl,
My eyes were a burning window, yours, a brick wall.
You could see the fire in my soul. I didn’t see yours burn,
But I could hear it screaming out, the agony that lay, in those secrets you didn’t reveal.

We have known each other our whole lives. It would be an untruth to say we both did not see a union in our future, and a further myopia to say your family didn’t expect matrimony of us. The same people who said that were a “match made in heaven” knew that we were nothing more than a match made in the casual talk session of a business deal. And yet you believed our destiny was written in the stars, I admired your naïve thinking, but hated your naïve thoughts, our destiny was written in a handshake, a signature, the “Ka-ching” of a cash register and the smile on the faces of the our parents. A notion I never failed to remind you of, a reminder that crushed your spirits every time, but you didn’t grow to hate me, and I still wonder why.

I seldom showed any emotions,
I remember that evening you wrote me a poem,
It read,

“a man,
the yardstick of his own strength,
the measurement of his own might,
strong in his own eyes,
the truth lies in the day,
yet he retreats to his own night.”

“Your poem, its about me isn’t it” I asked you. I didn’t anticipate your reply,

 “Not every thing in my life revolves around you”, you said.

“Who else could it be then?” , I immediately regretted asking that question.

“There’s been other men, its not like you’ve been saving yourself for me, or have you?”

I remember the rage I felt as I sat there looking at you, you had changed since college,
You were no longer that clingy little girl who bowed her head and silently swallowed every taunt I threw at you,
And oh did I ever wish you would fight back,
Maybe that would have given me a real reason to hate you,
A real reason to hurt you,
Then I would feel like less of a monster, and my conscience would finally be at rest,
But you never fought back … until today,
I had gotten what I wanted, a retaliation, but it wasn’t what I had envisioned, I wasn’t ready.

“Saving yourself? What does that mean”, I knew I had embarked on a journey, I wasn’t going to like the answers to the questions I had, but curiosity already had a loaded gun aimed at this cat.

“Its not like we’re together, I don’t get why you’re surprised,” you said, in the most unapologetic manner.

“you’re right, I’m sorry,” I accepted my defeat, the roles had been reversed.
Silence sliced through the night.
“Do you love me? you asked.
That was when I kissed you for the first time,
There was no spark except the flicker of stars,
No fireworks except the ones that exploded over our heads as cries of “Happy New Year” could be heard in the distance,
I said “No” and I didn’t lie, I didn’t love you,
We said “Happy New Year” and sat silently watching the fireworks, What was on your mind?

I didn’t like your father, nothing personal, I didn’t like mine either,
How could one like his own jailer?
I liked being king, and as long as he respected my manhood we would be fine,
He hurt you didn’t he?
I know what he did to your mother, you kept it away from me Because you thought I wouldn’t care,
And you thought I was just like him, a cold hearted king of his own world,
You hated the stupid Valentine parties he threw, you always did but you never said anything before,

But this time you showed him you had changed, just like you showed me,
I didn’t hear what you both argued about, but the look on his face when you walked out on him made my heart leap,
And for the first time in a long while your mother smiled too, she had been waiting for you to fight back,
She was worried you would end up like her,
She didn’t like me, she never liked the way I treated you when we were younger,
I reminded her of her husband.

You sat there by the fountain, steaming with rage,
I came over,

“Care for a dance miss?”

You laughed, but briefly “you have a terrible sense of comedic timing, you know”

“I’ve been told”

Silence …

“What do you want? I’m not in the mood for jokes, plus if I remember correctly you didn’t dance”

“That’s right, I never dance”, I said.

“So what do you want?”

“Marry me” I said, and in that moment we both thought I had lost my mind,
I could almost understand why you cried, then you laughed, and then I stood wondering if I just proposed,

“Is that a yes?”, I asked, and then wondered if someone might have slipped something into my drink.

“We both know what the answer is, we’ve always known” was your reply.

I don’t know what you meant by that but two months later there was an engagement party,
I didn’t dance,
You asked “do you love me now?”
I didn’t answer,
Your mother was unhappy, your father was not invited,
Your future husband didn’t know if he loved you yet,
Your life was over,

My heart skipped a beat when I saw you in your wedding dress,
You looked so beautiful, but then something happened,
Your heels broke,
You couldn’t look at me, you took them off and ran,
Just then I did something you didn’t expect, I ran after you,
I found you crying in the chapel garden,
You still couldn’t look at me,
Then you asked “do you love me now?”

I stood silent for a while, then I did something that shocked you,
I took off my shoes,
I stood before you bare footed,
Without saying a word I held out my hand,
You took it,
We walked back to the chapel, stood bare footed at the altar,
I gave your mother a nod, she smiled at me, for the first time,
“you may kiss the bride” said the priest,
I smiled, partly because I had already kissed the bride without permission before,
Partly because you were smiling too,

Before I kissed your lips, I whispered in your ear “I love you now”

And you whispered back “you owe me a dance”.

And for the first time in a long while . . . I danced.

Story by: Odogun kevwe

3 comments:

  1. This is too dope!!!! really like how it unravelled

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! This piece had me in love. The author is really really good at what he does... I'll make sure I get more of his works out..

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